Friday, 18 January 2013

yellow n da red rose

I stepped out of my college bus, it was 1st January’s evening, i had my university paper. It was getting dark as time was about 6.00 pm, and being winters, the atmosphere was quite dark n chilly outside. I was cursing my university for not even sparing us New year’s eve, everyone around was enjoying and here i was coming back exhausted, giving “chemistry exam”. I was walking down alone the lane, feeling too cold to move. I heard a bike honking behind, i didnt paid any attention to it, it kept on honking again and again, i turned around & was so surprised to see Him on the bike. He step out and i was still standing not believing he was dere, he handed me a new year card and shook my hand, we wished each other a happy new year.
“how come u are here?” i asked him still in a shock.
“just aiwaai, came here yestrday only, winter break no..thought of meeting u, its ben almost an year ryt?”
“yeaah.. so cum, lets go home, mum will b happy to see u”, i said .
This was harsh, we studied in same school for 14 years, wre each others classmate for many years but v becum good frnds wen school was about to get over, just during our 12th board exams, v talked to each other about boards, competitions  etc and use to meet for coaching that way we become quite close friends. He touched my mum’s feet as she opened the door for us and was surprised to see him. I went over to change and mum and harsh got involved in some conversations.As i went back to the guest room, Mum asked me,
“you have any exam tomorrow?”
“no mum, we are not genius ppl, i have 2 days gap for the next paper.”, i said sitting near her.
“Ok, so harsh was saying few other friends are coming too for celebrating new year, he wanted u to come also.” said mum.
“I am so tired yaar, and whats there to celebrate in this new year, i was studying in last year and still studying, so whats there to celebrate?” i said looking towards him.
“hey c’mon yaar, evrybody is coming, sherry, Sherryn, Saurabh, evryone, just for 1 hour please.”
“o really? piyu coming tooo kyaa? waaao its been a long time, but where will v go?”i was excited thinking about meeting them.
“near by mall, will come back soon.”
“Mum can i go?”, i asked her .
“yes, but be sure to come by 7.30, its so chilly outside and Dad would be angry too.”
“o yaaa aunty we will be back before the deadline”, he said standing up.
“ok, u leave and reach there, i’ll cum in 10 mins”, i said to him.
I reached mall and was searching for my friends but no one was there.I thought of looking for them upstairs in the food joint, as i moved in i saw Harsh and there was Saurabh too, I waved at them,
“where are other? i thought i’ll be late.” i said approaching them.
“Piyu is on her way and Sherry is inside, u go and join her.” saurabh said.
In  few mins we all were hugging and wishing each other happy new year.
Harsh and Saurabh bought coffee for us. Sherryn got a call , she took her coffee and left signalling us to be back soon, saurabh and Piyu were smiling , looking in each others eyes, so Harsh and i thought of giving them some time alone and we too took our coffees and walked outside. It was too crowdy at the mall,
“Cant we go outside? i dont like crowd, i feel suffocated.” i said to him.
“Its damn cold outside yaar, you will catch cold, and why are you not wearing proper pull-overs? i dont understand why girls are so fashionable ? They will die of cold but wont wear proper sweaters.” he said making a face.
I laughed seeing his expression, “i’ll explain, but can we leave this place, please, and i wont catch cold, please please lets go.”, i said childishly,
he agreed..
It was so cold and dark outside, we both were having steaming hot coffee in our hands,, i was feeling frozen we were moving slowly on the lane, rare vehicles were passing by, he initiated the talk,
“you are happy with new life?”
“new life? as in..?” i asked sipping my coffee.
“The college life, new friends, new environment etc?”
“Actually no. There is nothing in my college which makes me feel its college life, too many restrictions, and just made 2-3 friends, evryone is so self- centered there.” i confessed.
“same here, my college is not that strict though, but ye ppl in college are mean and selfish, i hate being growing up, miss our school alot.” he said holding his coffee in both hands.
“yeah, i miss it too, it was so better then this life.”
“And i miss u alot , u know.” he said looking at me.
“me? why me?.. we hardly talked in last one year infact.” i said in a state of shock.
“yes, thats why, i mssed you, our silly fights, your Angry-bird avtaar, Me teasing u, asking u to get a girlfriend for me, i had badly missed u yaar.” he said with a tear in his eye.
What had happened to him? he was not at all like this, Me and Harsh use to argue on smallest of things, my mum liked him and i hated him for his “good -boy” image at my home. He was very bad with me at times and his sleep was very important to him, he infact slept over on our boards practical-Gosh…!! y do i meet crazy ppl :P
“i have many friends , eve many of them are girls, but no body is like you, i know i had teased you alot but believe me neha, i miss u, i miss my own self alot.”, he continued.
OO terri… got ditched by a girl kyaa?? u sounding tooo devdas typse,” i laughed off., trying to make him comfortable.
“No yaar, i realised, i feel for you.” he said looking in my eyes.
I couldnt believe my ears, no this cant be true, we were friends since 6 years or so, and in those 6 years not even once i thought it can happen.
Coffee me vodka milaya h kyaa?? U lost your mind Harsh? You- the most adorable , smart looking guy, is proposing, such an average looking golu molu girl? what on earth made you thought this?”, i was still shocked by what he said.
“oh shut up..!! yes may be one cant fall in love with you at first sight, but you know what, once after being with you, when someone has to live without you then that person realises how much beautiful u r as a person, so caring so loving, very helping and ofcourse daamn cute.” he said with a smile.
” OMG, I cant believe its u who is speaking all this, stop making fun of me, chalo i am getting late, lets move back.” i said walking ahead of him, completely ignoring him.
“answer me but, we will leave.” he shouted.
I thougt for a while, turned around,
“i am bad, very bad, i am over possesive, not at all good to look at and yes, i talk alot “
“Your possesivness is what i most missed in 1 year, that angry face u make when u see someone getting close to ur loved one, those big eyes which get full of tears when u had a fight with ur loved ones, and yes the seemless never ending silly talks of urs, which can make anyone smile , no matter how sad they were before- that makes sum1 fall 4 u stupid.” he said with a smile.
I had tears in my eyes, nobody has ever said such thing to me before, i controlled my overflowing emotions and said,
“i am committed to someone already, Harsh i never thought this will happen.”
“what? “  he turned around, facing the other side and managed to say,” I am late, its all my fault, i never realised what u were to me when we were together, its all my fault.”
I dint knew how to handle this situation, my phone rang, it was mum.
“hey mum is calling, i think i have to leave.”, i said disconnecting her call.
He turned towards me, “we are still friends right?”
“ofcourse we are, and will always be.” i said, with a guilt choking me.
“Thanks, i am happy this way, love-shove are not made for a guy like me.” chal ‘ll drop you.
“No yaar, i’ll prefer to walk.”
“i wont eat you, you know?” he said elbowing me.
“Who knows? ” i said and laughed. I was feeling hell inside.” its just i dont sit behind any guy, i hope u will understand.”
“ok, i wont force you, just text me when u reach back safely”, he said smiling. ( a fake one, i knew)
We went to mall’s entrance, All others were waiting for us, we once again wished each other, and promised to be in touch, i turned and walked alone.
On my way back. many things were clogging my mind, i had never thought Harsh & me can be more then friends. I was feeling bad because i had hurted him , but more then that i was feeling bad because i had ditched my own dreams.
(after that incident its been months and things between me and harsh are normal and healthy :) we still fight alot )

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