Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Cancer- you cannot defeat our spirits!!!

It seemed a distant rare disease, something that happens to the people in a faraway land, something that happens to ‘others’. YES, that was what I used to think till the reality dawned on me. Someone so close to me, someone from my own blood, someone I use to meet everyday, see every day and talk endlessly with got it. The scariest news hit me hard, when I got to know, he has CANCER.
It was no more a distant or a rare disease to me, it was happening in front of my eyes, everyday. Initially, I was strong, I didn’t lose hope at all because he was strong and he was telling us all “I will be fine” with a smile on his face. I didn’t used to accompany him to his visits to doctors as I was still immature to handle it all, all the elder people used to go along with him. I never had the courage to see him pinned with syringes, in actual. I use to make excuses of being busy and chose to stay back at home, waiting for him to return back after check-ups. Then one day came a day when his chemotherapy was scheduled. A day before, he was nervous, “It’s painful, I have heard.” He said to me with doubtful eyes. “Oh c’mon, it’s not. You are strong, I know.” I said, hiding my nervousness.
During his chemo sessions, he was showing immense strength, I was hopeful, happy, he will be fine and he will be cancer-free. I once visited him, he was very happy, showing me his reports, “I am recovering.” He said with a twinkle in his eyes, I smiled back and thanked God in my heart.  Soon doctors announced he was ready for the radiation therapy and it started too. I was stuck with my final year exams, I wanted to go along but couldn’t. I heard he was losing his hopes; I wanted to be there with him, scold him that he can’t be hopeless but my schedule didn’t allowed me to.
Coincidently, on my birthday, he returned back. I was seeing him after a gap of about a month, he looked so exhausted. I tried to control my tears seeing him that way, he wished me with a smile and my favorite flowers. I hugged him and rushed back to my room, I couldn’t bear it more. All I could do was praying for his well being.  I was happy all his treatments were over and he will now be healthier, happier. Gradually my happiness faded away, his condition started getting worse, he was becoming weak day by day. I use to visit him every day, cracking idiotic jokes, talking silly, telling him about the inflated prices of goods, political affairs, discussing every unimportant thing I could just to keep away his thoughts from his sickness but nothing helped.
In all this process, I have learned lot many things. I have started prioritizing things, I have learned what’s worthy and what’s not so important. I don’t keep angry on people nowadays; I don’t make issues out of small things now. And when others hurt me with their comments and action, I chose to forgive them, they doesn’t know all this isn’t as important as they make it.
To this date he is still struggling, all of us, his loved ones cry when we are alone but put a brave face in front of him. It’s the hardest of all; everything else seems so irrelevant in front of him, his struggle to live. Cancer has eaten him mentally, physically and socially. People come and sympathies, maybe that’s what we all could do but he doesn’t need it, he need his lost hopes, his faith, his willpower to live. It kills me seeing him this way every day, telling him he still looks smart without hairs, he still looks handsome with all the scar marks on his face due to treatments and their side-effects, but no matter how hard it gets, I will continue to do it as long as I could. He is the strongest man I have seen, he will always remain my hero, he is a father figure to me, he is my guiding star. I cannot let him lose against something as weak as cancer. After all CANCER is a part of his life, it doesn’t define his life.
I will NEVER NEVER let him give up, he will come out of it someday, I am sure, I have faith.
Cancer might do lot of damage but there are things cancer cannot do,
Cancer is so limited...
It cannot cripple love
It cannot shatter hope
It cannot corrode faith
It cannot destroy peace
It cannot kill friendship
It cannot suppress memories
It cannot silence courage
It cannot invade the soul
It cannot steal eternal life
It cannot conquer the spirit"

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